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Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years

6/4/2021

23 Comments

 
We’re selling our 131-year-old Connecticut home that’s been in our family for over six decades. I always looked forward to the 500-mile trek from North Carolina to visit there. I didn’t realize my pre-pandemic stay would be my last. Sigh.
​
Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.com
Our family home: collaborative drawing by 5 of our parents' grandchildren - circa 1996

In the beginning ...
​

The two-story white Colonial on Harriet Street, surrounded by towering New England maples in its compact front yard, has nurtured our four generations. My parents bought the home in 1958 for approximately $14K from a just-retired New York Times journalist. That was a princely sum at the time. Dad worked hard to pay the mortgage and support four kids and Mama on a teacher's salary.
Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.comFamily home - circa 1960
​Mama and Dad were proud of the 1,500-square foot home perched on the corner of O’Brien Street, across from a peaceful Civil War-era cemetery.

Neighbors dubbed Dad the Mayor of Harriet Street for his generous ways and readiness to lend a hand. It was a title he cherished.

During this past decade, the house on Harriet Street sheltered three generations of us under one roof. We jokingly called it Hotel 21 because people were constantly coming, staying or leaving. Three of my siblings (myself included!)  boomeranged back at different times as grown-ups.

Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.comGreat-Auntie still can play on the floor with her nephew
Our parents loved being surrounded by family and friends, and they welcomed everyone with open arms and unending mountains of food. The house was crowded and noisy, but our parents never minded.

​As a teen, I was embarrassed by the bedlam, wishing for a calmer life in a bigger space. As an adult, I see our home in constant turmoil but always brimming with love and joy. To this day, I don't know how we jammed so many people into so many small spaces and without getting on each other's nerves too much.

PictureFamily, Faith, Country: our parents' creed
The cornerstones of Mama and Dad's 50+ years  together were family, faith and country. They lived their creed every day and passed those values to us.

Our parents also wanted to live out their years on Harriet Street. And they did. ​

​
Mama passed in 2011. Dad remained in the house, with care from family and health-care aides after his stroke, until he passed at age 92 in 2017. 
 
My three siblings and I left the nest long ago. My nieces and nephews, Millennials with families and careers of their own, lived everywhere from New England to Idaho. Given the area's blazing sellers’ market, my sister, the last of us to leave after moving back to Harriet Street to help care for Dad, decided she was ready for a new start, too.


Sorting 63 years of 'treasures'

Dad encouraged us all along to sift through the house and take what we wished, so we had a head start winnowing down six decades of stuff. No easy task!

While Dad was a minimalist, Mama saved 
EVERYTHING!
"Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet," Mama's last read, by my side in my writing room
Mid-19th century letters, ribbons, cards from Mama's trunks
Letter from Dad to Mama while he was stationed in Cuba: 1951
Photo taken by my great-grandfather of an unknown woman ~ late 1800s, Minneapolis
  • Three creaky steamer trunks tucked in the basement overflowing with mementos from Mama’s 1940s high-school days and early years of marriage -
    I even discovered my birth announcement among bits of wrapping paper and ribbons off gifts from my baby shower.


  • Stacks of  crinkly, yellowed airmail letters written by scores of homesick WWII warriors she met as Queen of the USO in Everett, Washington -
    Mama diligently corresponded with them all. She also saved Dad’s letters written after they married, when he was stationed in Cuba during the Korean War.


  • Hundreds of paperbacks Mama devoured, mostly romance and historical fiction - 
    We donated boxes of her books to the local senior center library. However, I kept the last book she read. It rested on her nightstand, waiting for her to finish after she left for the hospital, but she never returned. I tuck her book under my monitor stand to
    keep her presence near and remember how she encouraged my writing. Sigh. 

  • Photos from the late-1800s -
    Our great- and great-great grandfathers, professional photographers in Everett, Washington, left behind treasures in black and white.

Memories
​
Then there are the intangibles we can't carry with us. Memories of the ups and downs of everyday life. Family traditions started on Harriet Street that  are ingrained in our hearts.

Most of the time, we didn't realize those precious moments of living created lasting links that shaped a life and defined us. 

Celebrations
We marked Christmas, birthdays, graduations, engagements,
winning touchdowns, scholarships, good report cards and more.


4 generations enjoy carolers - 2013
Birthday girl - circa 2010
Birthday boy - circa 1968


​Family times in the back yard
We corralled lawn chairs and chatted for hours, 
shaded by Mamas's sprawling Beauty Bush
​that she forbade Dad to prune.
Picture
Chillin' in the yard back in the day
(We chopped down
the overgrown
Beauty Bush recently,
but the shrub
stubbornly
keeps
popping
​ back!)
​
Picture
Mama's resilient Beauty Bush - 2021


Marking the seasons
Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.comLeaf raking - circa 1960
Dad loved sports and organized softball, kickball, badminton and croquet for us in the back yard as soon as the weather turned warmer.

​We added an above-ground pool for a time while my parents could still tend it, spending hours floating and splashing during lazy summers.

Autumn brought another tradition – leaf-raking and jumping into huge piles. We scattered more leaves as we barreled into our piles, so we'd have to contain them all over again. But what fun! Sibs and I were lucky we weren't hurt hurling ourselves down four feet from the porch into leafy heaps waiting to catch us. 

Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.comSnowy day on Harriet Street - circa 1964
There was no shortage of activity during our cold New England winters. Aside from our schoolwork (Dad was a teacher, so of course  studying came first!), we looked forward to ... 

* Sledding
* Ice skating on Five Mile Pond 
* Building snow forts
* Playing outside until mittens froze and teeth chattered
*And always ...
shoveling the sidewalk and front porch!



​Fun, Food and Love
You couldn't turn around on Harriet Street 
without bumping into food, conversation, children or hugs.


Make no mistake: It wasn't perfect.
We argued and fought.
Cried over hard times.

I rebelled as a sullen teen.

But Harriet Street held fast.

​Always there when we needed it.
Sample snacks
4 generations color Easter eggs - circa 2015
Oldest meets youngest - 2016

It's done
​Our parent's home went on the market Memorial Day weekend, Mama's rose bush in the front yard blooming in anticipation
Saying good-bye to our parents’ home of 60 years ~ www.catmichaelswriter.com
For Sale sign posted


Red door lovingly repainted

 Lawn mowed

Hedges clipped.

Interior sparkling 
and staged for buyers.

​Sigh.

​The MLS posting made it real. Every photo from the listing spins a memory, especially the shot  of my childhood bedroom, nestled high on the second story next to Mama's Beauty Bush.

​Those images twist my heart, and I feel torn. Like the title of the last book Mama read, it is bittersweet.
Mama's Roses - 2021
Red door restored - 2021
My childhood bedroom in the trees
I’m sad to see the end of an era.
Relieved to settle our parents’ estate
​ and have closure.


​I hope the house on Harriet Street
is scooped up by a family,
who will love it
and discover as much joy
as we found in our home
over the past 63 years.

Your Turn
​

Have you had to say good-bye to a home you loved? Settled the estate of a loved one? What was that experience like for you? What memories and treasures did you carry? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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    Cat Michaels

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  • Welcome!
  • Cat's Books
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      • Just Between Sam and Me
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  • Meet Cat
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