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5 Ways You Can Stop Bullying NOW!

10/2/2020

24 Comments

 
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, a time when adults and children from across the nation—and around the world—come together with the powerful message that bullying should never be a part of childhood. 

Today's post highlights five ways you can stop bullying and includes...
  • A personal story about how bullying affected my family and set me on a new writing direction
  • Tips for opening the conversation about bullying with your child
  • Excerpts from Just Between Sam and Me – the upcoming book for tweens I’m co-writing with Rosie Russell 
  • Convo with Bookworm for Kids about social bullying themes in Just Between Sam and Me
And one more cool thing! Scroll to the end to download your FREE first chapter of Just Between Sam and Me.
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My Family's Experience with Bullying

 I was in the pit of despair.

My sweet 8-year-old niecelette, B, had been bullied at school by two girls in her third-grade class. She cried continually and was anxious just thinking about school. 
My heart sank. I wanted to support her, but I didn't know what to do, feeling powerless living 500 miles away.

Fortunately, her teacher and parents stepped in immediately to stop the bullying. I still wanted to learn more about how I might help as a writer. I turned to research and asked friends to share their experiences and wisdom. And soon a book idea was born.

I share my five biggest take-aways from that research.

five ways you can stop bullying now


​
1. Be Persistent
High school teacher T advises being relentless: 
Keep asking questions to the school, to the parents. Don’t let this slip through the cracks.

​
2. Intervene Immediately
R observes from her years as a substitute teacher in elementary school: 
It takes the students, school, counselors, teachers, and parents to nip it in the bud as fast as they can. The longer it goes on, the worse it will be for all of them. I'm sure you are reassuring B. That's what she needs the most right now.


​
3.  Show Zero Tolerance
As an auntie, I didn't want my niecelette or any child to be the target of bullying. 

As an author, I dreamed of writing a story for tweens that a delivered strong message –  bullying in any form is never ok.  

Just Between Sam and Me centers on shy 11-year-old Olivia, who only wants to read her books and tend to her farm animals. But Olivia feels like a social outcast when mean girl Candace turns on her.

Olivia starts believing the cruel taunts about her are true, so she is ashamed to tell anyone about the harassment. 
Small, constant jabs, like those in the excerpt below, erode Olivia's confidence and self-esteem.
​
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Social Bullying Excerpt: "Just Between Sam and Me"

4. Look for the Upstanders 
Rosie and I sprinkle elements of mischief to lighten our content for kids and bring hope. Olivia’s bestie, Isabella, often takes on this role as she demonstrates how to be an upstander and stop bullying in its tracks, as in the following excerpt:

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Upstander Excerpt: "Just Between Sam and Me"

​5.  Talk with Your Child
Pacer.org – founder of the National Bullying Prevention Month movement – offers guidance for parents in opening a conversation if they suspect their child is being bullied.

Acknowledge your own feelings first:
Parents may feel a range of emotions, from anger to fear and sadness. These reactions are natural for parents who want their child to feel valued, protected, and loved. To be an effective advocate for your child, it's important to work through 
your emotions before developing an intervention plan. 

When you’re ready and have your emotions in check:
Listen without judgment and remember that children may not be ready to open up right away. They, too, are dealing with the emotional effects of bullying and may feel insecure, frightened, vulnerable, angry, or sad. 

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Source: pacer.org/bullying/resources

When children begin to tell their story:
Listen and avoid judgmental comments. Learn as much as possible about the situation, such as how long the behavior has been happening, who has been involved, and what steps have been taken.

Encourage your child to talk:
Let them know they are not alone and emphasize.... 
  • It is NOT their fault. They are not to blame.
  • They are NOT alone. You are here to help.
  • It is the adults’ responsibility make the bullying stop.
  • Bullying is never okay, and they have the right to be safe.
  • No one deserves to be bullied.
  • They deserve to be treated with respect.
  • They have the right to feel safe at school.​


​more About social bullying on Bookworm for kids

Cowriter Rosie Russell and I stop by Bookworm for Kids for convo with author/blogger TJ Drecker. We talk about our research on social bullying for our book for tweens, Just Between Sam and Me.

Learn more and  join us HERE.
​

Free First Chapter 

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Meet Olivia and Candace.

Find out who Sam is
(he's not who you might think!)


Download your
FREE Chapter 1 of
 Just Between Sam and Me
HERE

Book arrives at your favorite bookseller
2 December 2020.


Your Turn
What’s your experience with bullying? What tips can you offer to stop it? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.


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24 Comments
Julie Gorges link
10/2/2020 03:58:28 pm

Great tips for those being bullied and parents, grandparents and relatives of kids who are being treated cruelly or disrespectfully. As someone who was privileged to have a sneak peek at your new book, the subject is handled in an entertaining and educational way that will appeal to tweens. Best wishes for a successful launch!

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/2/2020 08:59:20 pm

If we all step up and step in, we can stop bullying, Julie. Appreciate your kind words about our tale more than you know -:D.

Reply
Auden Johnson link
10/2/2020 07:26:43 pm

Thanks for bringing awareness to bullying and for sharing ways to stop it.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/2/2020 09:01:50 pm

Thanks, Auden. We can raise our collective antennae in our own circle, we’ll stopbullying before it can grow.

Reply
Rosie Russell link
10/3/2020 09:29:23 am

Great piece, Cat.
As you know, writing about this subject was hard. It's an important one and I hope these articles help anyone out there struggling through this.
I'm so glad to see we have organizations like Pacer.org for people to turn to.
Thanks for all you do.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/4/2020 08:49:12 am

Honestly, Rosie, I feel helpless and angry when I read about what some kids are going through. Starting with raising awareness of the problem and establishing zero tolerance for bullying in all its forms is a good place to start. I’m proud we weave this theme into our book as a model to kids to understand.

Reply
Sara link
10/5/2020 12:10:52 pm

Great post and such an important topic. Thank you for shining a light on this issue!

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/5/2020 02:24:07 pm

Sara, it’s more complex today ever with cyberbullying so important for adults to be vigilant. The characters in our book for tween model kid-friendly ways to show there is hope.

Reply
Deana Landers link
10/5/2020 04:52:50 pm

Great post, Cat. Sometimes I think adults need these instructions as much as children do. Thank you.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/5/2020 07:55:33 pm

Spot on, Deana! In fact, it’s up to adults to be vigilant and step in immediately to stop cruelty as soon as it happens.

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Anita Holland link
10/5/2020 09:52:11 pm

Thank you for sharing all your great tips. It is up to adults to teach that it is not acceptable to bully others. Kids can learn a lot from good values taught by parents.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/6/2020 10:03:11 am

Anita, modeling kindness at home absolutely works. It’s even more important in our current pandemic mode of frustration and impatience.

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Maria
10/6/2020 04:12:25 am

This is such a informative post’ I’m always searching for articles to educate myself for my grandkids! Teaching them how important to be kind

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Cat Michaels
10/6/2020 10:10:01 am

Thanks, Maria! In addition to pacer.org, we found two other fab sources about bullying for parents and kids. We hope tweens will also discover ways to prevent bullying when the read about our characters’ actions in “Just Between Sam and Me” -:D.

www.stopbullying.gov www.kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html

Reply
Carmela
10/6/2020 10:10:25 am

It’s always heartbreaking to see children affected by bullying. A very informative post for families and educators; thank you. I wish you the best with your new book!

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Cat Michaels
10/7/2020 09:38:20 am

Thanks, Carmela. The topic is always a good conversation to keep in the forefront, so we can take action right away to prevent bullying.

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Rebecca Lyndsey
10/6/2020 06:49:05 pm

Great tips. I always start my school year with going over cyber safety with my students which includes a lesson on cyber bullying. We also do many songs, dances, games etc on being a good upstander.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/7/2020 09:41:16 am

Wow, I love how you address this in the classroom in so many creative ways, Rebecca! You are bringing the issue to the kids on their level and helping them to understand, take action. Thank YOU!

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Sandra Bennett link
10/6/2020 08:25:41 pm

An excellent article Cat, so sad your niece has gone through this. Such a wonderful idea to turn it into something positive by writing a book that will help others in similar situations.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/7/2020 09:47:32 am

Thanks, Sandra, We were lucky that her teacher spotted the issue and took immediate action to stop the bullying behaviors. However to add tension in our story and show kids what NOT to do, our 11-yo protagonist mistakenly hides her misery at first.

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megan alder link
10/12/2020 01:49:40 pm

My daughter has been bullied at her school multiple times, and we are looking for advice to be able to stop it. I love that you talked about the importance of intervening immediately and show zero tolerance. We will definitely follow your advice, and we'll talk to whomever it concerns to fix this as soon as possible.

Reply
Cat Michaels
10/12/2020 05:48:54 pm

Oh, Megan, my heart goes out to your daughter and your family. Being bullied is a wrenching experience. Yes, please reach out to her teachers right away, and let your daughter know she is not at fault. We don’t go into cyberbullying in our book, but please also be aware of online incidents if your daughter is old enough to be on social media. We found the helpful websites below for kids and parents that offer more support and guidance. Wishing you a successful and swift resolution!

www.pacer.org/bullying
www.stopbullying.gov
www.kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html

Reply
Ria link
12/3/2020 11:48:07 am

Bullying is terrible. Children should be taught to help others who get bullied and told they are heroes if they help others. Kids can help a lot each other a lot, It is easy to follow the crowd but to help outsiders and bullied kids is greater.

Great blog you have here, congratulation!

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Cat Michaels
12/4/2020 06:01:44 pm

Ria, you are spot on! Bullying is inexcusable. As adults, can be vigilant and serve as role models while letting children know it is ok to speak out and stand up to bullying.

Reply

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  • Welcome!
  • Cat's Books
    • Sweet T and the Turtle Team >
      • Just Between Sam and Me
    • Finding Fuzzy: A You-Decide Tale of a Lost Friend
    • Sweet T and the North Wind
    • The Magical Aquarium
  • Cat's Corner: Blogging About Books, Writing, and More
  • Meet Cat
  • Author Visits
  • FREE STUFF in the Kids' Zone
  • Contact Cat